Earlier this week, we had the priviledge of attending the wedding of a Chinese friend of M's from work. It was definitely an interesting experience and not at all what I expected! This is especially funny because I didn't really have any expectations. I guess I thought it would be different from an American wedding, and it was. I also had heard that there would be some wardrobe changes, and there were. I'll have to walk you through the evening.
The invitations indicated that the festivities would begin at 5:28pm. The venue was a restaurant, which we discovered was also a series of banquet halls when we arrived. The hall was set up for dinner with round tables, 10 chairs each, and decorated similar to an American reception, but using red and gold. There was a stage in the front of the room with a screen on either side of the stage. Off center, and running from the stage to the entry door was a "red carpet" made of felt. About half-way back was a chuppah made of golden fabric.
Here is a pretty bad photo of the front of the room - sorry, I wasn't thinking about blogging at this point in the evening (probably due to how dirty everything was - after all, we are in Shanghai).
We started the evening meeting & greeting and were told that the ceremony would start at 6:18pm or 6:28pm. Apparently, if we missed the first time, the second time would be just as lucky! It would seem that we were seated at the "kids" table, or maybe it was the "wives" table. There were 3 women, whose husbands sat near the front, with children who sat with our family and another American couple. In all, there were 12 of us at the table. It was during this time that our son noted loudly several times that the signs say "No Smoking" so why are they smoking over there?
After a little while, food began appearing at our table. Restaurant eating in China usually involves a round table with a giant lazy susan in the center. This was the case here. Most of the dishes that came out were a bowl or plate full of a single item. We started with a plate of Jujubees (not candy, more like a sweet, soft chestnut), jellyfish, and duck tongue. C was a big fan of the last item. While we were eating, the lights dimmed and we were treated to a short video of the days earlier events.
In the morning, the groom goes to retrieve his bride from her home and has to do a series of tricks or stunts to win her. Sometimes he can pay his way out of these stunts with a hong bao (red money envelope), but this groom is a pretty fun guy and did most of the tricks, and on the video no less! It was fun to watch. They also had a tea ceremony from earlier in the day recorded for our viewing pleasure. I guess I should mention that, in fact, the couple we celebrated at this ceremony has actually already been married. This is just how they do things here.
The actual ceremony starts with the bride walking in (sorry, guys, I didn't think to pay attention to all of the music, but I can say it was all-American all the way!) She stops under the chuppah and our attention shifts to the groom who is at the front of the room. Apparently, in China, or at China as Mr. Mao would say, the groom carries the flowers to the bride as he walks to meet her under the chuppah.
This all felt like a music video:
He reaches the chuppah and gets down on one knee with the flowers. She bends down and smells the flowers, then visibly helps him up. Once they are both standing, he removes her veil and kisses her forehead.
They face the front for a few moments, and then walk to the front of the room.
Some people like to have cute western kids as attendants.
Again with the bad pictures, I apologize. It's the best I have to give you an idea of our experience. Once at the front of the room, there is a lot of talking. I can't remember the order, but it included what I assume were toasts from maybe family, for sure at least one boss from work, speaches from parents, and maybe vows. Remember, we are in China, so the entire service was in Mandarin. It might be hard to make out, but there was a picture of a heart-shpaed cake with writing on it on the screen during part of this.
After some or all of this was over, there was a very long kiss and the couple retreated down the red carpet to the song "La Isla Bonita". (This song was a strange enough choice to me that I started paying attention). They were gone for 20 or 30 minutes for a wardrobe change. During this time, more food was delivered to the table and we were treated to a "growing up" slide show of the bride and groom set to "As Long As We've Got Each Other". Yes, that is the theme song from the show "Growing Pains."
Some of the food choices included:
(behind the cow skull notice the fully clothed shrimp and some soup)
With a budda garnish:
Once again, the lights were dimmed and we were reintroduced to the bride and groom. This time, the bride was wearing a sparkling gold dress, and my daughter said, "Daddy, I want you to take a picture of that princess!"
It was shortly after this that we decided to leave since it was alreay past the kids' bedtime. We learned that (at least for the next 30 minutes until our American friends left) we missed out on a plate of fish as well as a chicken with the head on along with an increasingly smoky room. I guess they saved the best for last!
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