Sit-in

During my unplanned hiatus from the (technologically) free world, I gained some perspective on our new digs. First, along with Facebook, the Great Firewall also blocks the supremely dangerous Target.com. WATCH OUT! More importantly, I had an epiphany about Chinese culture in general. Let me take the long route to explain:

We have experienced a lot of behaviors here that would be incredibly offensive back home. Some things seem straightforward, such as not waiting in line, pushing, etc. Others are more complicated - or maybe more surprising, like when the refrigerator repairman told me to change the number to 3 and wait a few days, despite the fact that I had tried all the numbers already!

Matt and I have spent quite a bit of time trying to solve the mystery of how shoving through the subway door is not offensive. I mean, if this happened at home, there would be fights! Most of the shoving, cutting off, and ignoring people back home winds up being malicious. Not here. It's weird.

A couple of weeks ago, I finally figured it out! Let me share a story. It doesn't define my cultural epiphany, but it was definitely the catalyst for understanding.

Our house is situated near the main gate of our community. In fact, our back yard backs up to the gates that can close and keep people in or out of the compound. I've never actually seen these gates shut as we have a guard shack just beyond the gates to control traffic through the neighborhood.

This particular day, I was in the living room and heard shouting near the main gate. After a few minutes of shouting, I decided to see what was going on. The best vantage point is from our bedroom so I scooted upstairs for a better look. I pulled open the curtains to see a man (I would guess around 50 years old) sitting in the middle of the entrance gate. I didn't realize it at the time, but he had a buddy (maybe in his 30s?) occupying the exit gate. The man in the entrance gate was shouting at one of the office managers and a security guard. There was also a police car (a first for me to see in our neighborhood!) with 2 officers near the front gate.

I quickly spotted my friend's dog, a St. Bernard, with her Ayi and thought the dog must have knocked the guy over or something. I let my friend know what I was seeing and then just spied my little heart out for the next 30 minutes or so. During this time more police officers arrived, bringing the total to 8. I watched the man go into the office, then after a short time, return to take his seat in the drive. By this time, my friend had let me know that her Ayi came home and told her this man was unhappy with his Chinese New Year wages.

So he was having a sit-in. With a friend to help him since there are two driveways.

Ok, a sit-in is a legitimate form of protest. Not one that we see a lot of individuals doing, but to each his own, right? Sure.

The police take some photos or video with a pocket camera and proceed to escort the two protesters to separate police cars. The friend goes first - carried by his arms and legs because he lays down on the ground when they start the process. Yes, really. Then all 8 of them come back for our main guy. He willingly stands up and walks with them, shouting all the way, but when they get to the car, he won't get in. He just stands straight up, yelling into officers faces the whole time. The officers are gently pushing on his shoulders to try to get him to sit down in the vehicle. After about 5 minutes of this, I gave in and headed to the shower - where I was supposed to be 20 minutes ago.

I called my friend back to relay the rest of the story and while doing so came to a realization:

I am immersed in a culture that acts like children. Suddenly, I can make more sense of those "offensive" behaviors:

- Boarding a subway car with 100 kindergarteners: unnerving, but not offensive.

- A 3 year old yelling at a police officer: alarming, but not rude.

- A 7 year old trying to squeeze between you and your child on the escalator: frustrating, but not anger-inducing.

This awareness has really put some pieces together for me. None of it's malicious, it's not even rude behavior - it's child-like. Except that we're talking about adults. It's been so hard for us to process what we see as rudeness, but looking at it with this new perspective has given us the insight we needed to maintain a positive attitude. Now we just have to master the anticipation of child-like behavior while treating everyone respectfully as adults.